My Dearest
by Keiko Yuki
Summary: Remus Lupin receives a loveletter from someone. The problem is: Lupin is in love with someone else. This won't deter the lovestruck teen. RLSS RLSB Read and review! YaoiSlash


A/N: This is an EXTREMELY short One-shot with SB/RL andRL/SS (though its only one-sided) you'll see when you read it! Please please please review! I'd really appreciate feedback.

* * *

_My Dearest:_

_I don't think you could ever understand the way I feel for you. The sight of you passing me in the hall sends my heart reeling. I stare at you and wish that one day you could look back at me with half of the emotion that fills my soul. Your eyes haunt my mind, as well as my heart. Your voice echoes through my mind and tickles my ears when you laugh. Oh, your laugh. I hear you laugh and regret that it was not I who made that wonderful sound spill from your lips. Your demeanor and manner of ways are beautiful in a way I feel I am the only one who can truly appreciate._

_My poor aching heart is breaking. I sympathize with it. Ah, the pain you've put us through! I feel the now too-familiar burn in my chest at your scent. Oh how I wish you weren't with **him** of all people. Maybe if you were with someone more worthy my heart could be at some ease at last. I see you with **them** and I wonder how such a kindhearted and wonderful person could be tainted by such delinquents. You couldn't possibly understand how in love I am with you. My emotions are pent up inside my beating heart, begging for blessed release._

_You know me only because your associates feel the need to torture me on a daily basis. Day after day I curse them and I weep soon after because of the kindness only shown to me by two. You and she. I love you both, yet I love thee more. My heart aches for you more than anyone else. I've yearned to take hold of your robes and fling you away from **them**. Why? Why must these feelings roil within me like some vile love potion? What have you done to me? What spell have you cast? My every thought turns to you, and those thoughts become at once tainted by **him**. That bloody pillock who holds your heart in his pocket and your hand in his. I can't help but feel contempt to the one who tainted you. Why could the reckless and loved one catch your flying heart? How could one whose gentleness is equivalent to that of a troll's hold its wings from freedom? Why does he deserve to be loved and not I?_

_Now you know about my love and contempt. I feel an immense guilt at sharing my darkened love with you instead of loving from afar as I have been these three years; but I feel you need to know. If you posses the kindness I believe you do, please to not share this with anyone, least of all **him**. My emotions are for you to take and do with them as you please. They no longer belong to me. I don't know whether they've ever been mine. The point, my beloved, is that they are yours. To taint so pure an emotion with the taunting and jeering of your comrades is such a disgrace and heart-wrenching event that I loathe to think it. I have allowed my love to grow and blossom, and to see it whither at the hands of those men is a fate worse than death._

_My love is forever yours; you can refuse it or embrace it. Whatever you chose to do with it, I beg of you to do so knowing that I love you with every fiber of my being. To pen the word is not just as well as saying it, but I fear I cannot express my feelings verbally. Penning the feelings in my heart is a closer adaptation, but it still doesn't express them accurately. I doubt there is any way in which I could._

_I hope you believe me when I say that I wish you happiness. All I want, all I've ever needed, was to see you happy. If your being with him is what you need to keep laughing and smiling, then so be it. I hope you can find in him what I have found in you._

_With my deepest affections:_

_- SS

* * *

_

Tears spilled down onto the parchment held in shaking pale hands. Too much. It was too much to handle. Being loved by someone so deeply and unconditionally. For him to be able to love someone to the point of heartache, only to let them go; was a saddening yet flattering thing. But that was not the emotion that came with reading the letter.

Holding the letter was like holding a person's beating heart. The strong muscle was beating against those pale hands simply because it was those hands that held it. _I hope you believe me when I say that I wish you happiness._ Those words were true and came from the very soul. In the words, the scent of blood drifted up as if he'd used the essence of life to carve his feelings onto paper. Of course, this was all created by an overactiveimagination feeding off of his emotions. In reality, the words had been written on ordinary, uncolored parchment, and the ink was black and not unordinary.

The handwriting was a flourished cursive, obviously exaggerated to make revealing the writer a harder task. This didn't matter, though. It was easy enough to figure out who it was who had written his soul onto the yellowing parchment. Shaky hands dropped it ontothetable as they moved to red, tear-stained eyes and covered them in deep sadness.

There was no way he could understand how the writer felt. How difficult itmust beto know that thesomeone youloved was in love with another and you couldn'tshare your love with them. How utterly heartbroken the writer must havebeen;to have to watch your love in someone else's arms. How distressing, to know that that person you loved so dearly loved someone else with all of their heart...

...even though your own heartbeat was regulated by that very same person.

The knowledge that there was another love already filling your love's heart and held no room for you could only be agonizingly tortuous.

But he _did_love another…

"Hey Moony I…" The taller teen looked down at his lover in surprise as he caught sight of his weeping form.

The crying teen lifted his head quickly and stared wide-eyed into his love's warm and concerned eyes. Lupin's hand was lightening-quick as he changed the ink around to form words from a romance novel he'd once read.

His deception worked. Sirius had been far too worried at the knowledge that Lupin had been crying that he hadn't noticed the moving ink or the movement of the thin wand. He immediately embraced Remus around his shoulders and petted his hair reassuringly. "What's the matter?"

Remus shook his head against Sirius' shoulder. He couldn't lie toSirius buthe couldn't tell him the truth either. Severus had asked for him not to share with anyone. And if that meant he had to keep the note a secret from his love, then so be it. He would respect Severus' wish.

He owed him that much.

* * *

A/N: 

See? It was a quick little one-shot. A love letter to Remus from a certain someone ((tickles Snape) you're too cute! Yes you are!) This is all that there will be and I know that it's embarrassingly short (not even two pages) but it is a stand-alone and speaks for itself.

I got the inspiration for writing this when I read Freaks and Geeks (really good, btw) but it has nothing to do with that story line. Therefore I am not stealing anything! It is a very good story by the way. Support Hello Moto and review that fic! I enjoyed it immensely and I can't wait for another update… I needed to work off some writer's block and this had been begging to be written.I thought I'd share it with you all. Please tell me if you liked it (or not).

Read and Review! Please and thank you! (Bows)


End file.
